Today, someone told me (rather proudly) they used a sex worker for a “quick fuck.” As fine and dandy as that may be, I had to quickly intervene and correct his statement. I told him that there’s no way anyone can ever use a sex worker for sex. Why? Well for starters, it’s their job to have sex with you. They, of course, pick and choose their clientele, but in general, it’s literally their job to have sex with you. You walk in, pay them, do whatever you two agree to, and then you leave. That’s that.
Now, to think of the actual act of “using” a person for something, there has to be some sort of persuasion or manipulation involved. To use someone for sex is to approach someone who had not been particularly keen on screwing you, (but is open to the possibility with enough convincing) and plant the idea of having sex with you into their mind. Once planted, you would then continue to say or do whatever you need to do (oftentimes involving making false or empty promises and playing mind games with someone’s emotions) to gain their trust so they will agree to consensual sex.
So I told him that you simply cannot use someone for sex who doesn’t even give two fucks about you. There’s no type of persuasion, no strategy, no nothing. He then retorted that the use was mutual; implying that he used her for sex while she used him for money, which is completely impossible. Again, the act of using someone takes persuasion, manipulation and deceit. I don’t understand how someone can use a paying customer for their money; there’s no deceit in this case. She didn’t have to promise anything or try to convince him to cough up his hard-earned cash; he sought her. He paid for a mutually beneficial service.
Moreover, here’s my advice to any guy trying to make themselves feel better by attempting to portray someone in a negative light: just don’t; or at least don’t come to me with that nonsense. You’re not using anyone for sex. You’re just trying to justify your act. Why you think it’s more noble to pay for sex than to (willingly) offer services, I’ll never know. But there’s probably a reason why the only sex you can get is from the sex that you have to pay for.